Sing along with the 'Glee'-cap about Kurt and Rachel's broken hearts and Puck's new crush.
By Jim Cantiello
Chris Colfer in the "Silly Love Songs" episode of "Glee"
Photo: Adam Rose/FOX
We had a second helping of "Glee" this week, and appropriately enough, it was an all-dessert course of "Silly Love Songs" timed for Valentine's Day. But there were a whole lot of hearts broken in this episode, so here are the lyrics to our dark tribute to the latest plot developments.
Welcome to Love Songs Week.
Jealousy is driving "Glee" crazy.
It's Valentine's at McKinley High,
Teenagers done lost their minds,
Mono spread in a kissing booth.
Santana's evil, but she's oh so fine ...
Exposes that Quinn is hung up
On her ex and they totes used tongue,
Tangled in a fight with Lauren the mighty
Gets her ass beat like Anderson.
Blaine's a jerk, oh, the worst kind of a flirt
Accidentally makes Kurt think that he wants him.
All out of whack, Blaine puts his Thicke in the Gap
I swear I'm not being dirty, that's exactly what happened.
Blaine tried to woo him with a Thicke song! [Gong!]
But the manager said it's all wrong! [Gong!]
Blaine's crush got fired, so let's sound the gong! [Gong!]
Kurt sits with a broken heart.
He's ready for a boyfriend but it ain't sweeps, darlin'.
Stuck in a prison of stops and starts,
One day he'll get to be gay.
I hope the writers let him have a kiss
That rocks his whole world to his core.
Until then his storyline is starting to bore.
Oh, oh, no...
Oh, oh, no.
Now it's time to move along
To Artie and Mike's cute song.
"PYT" made me go "weee,"
But Tina's solo said, "Sanity, so long!"
Puck's out for the chubby girl,
All he wants is to rock her world. So he sings her a song called "Fat Bottomed Girls," but she gets all offended.
Boy, she ain't no Queen fan.
He's out to get the only girl he can't forget
The one things she isn't swallowing are his advances.
She finally agrees, when he gets down on his knees
And presents her with a piece of ring-shaped candy.
He bought the chubby girl a Ring Pop! [Gong!]
And that's the thing that hit her sweet spot! [Gong!]
All fat girls want are some RING POPS! [Gong!]
Oh, "Glee," don't break my heart.
You had me at hello but lost me when we parted.
The third Katy Perry cover this season.
What's the reason?
Is Mrs. Brand paying all your bills?
Why else would you be her shill?
But please don't get me wrong
At least they're not all Ke$ha songs...
Oh, oh, no.
[ad-libs] Her love ain't my drug.
I'd hate to see Rachel rap and crap.
It'd be the worst thing ever.
[Outro] Recapping "Glee" is makin' me crazy.
Natassia Malthe Nelly Furtado Nichole Robinson Nicky Hilton Nicole Richie
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